Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
