Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
