his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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