OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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