Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
