How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
