He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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