I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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