ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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