how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
