i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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