I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
