Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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