Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
