I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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