I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
