It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
bring money and cleavage
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
