so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
