If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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