every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Boobs are out for the taking
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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