You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
