I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
