fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
