Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
