My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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