Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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