I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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