btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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