I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
