ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
