I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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