): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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