reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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