btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
