dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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