yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
