I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
