Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
