It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
