Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
