If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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