Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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