??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
