Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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