"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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