My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
