I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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