I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You pole danced in your parka.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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