help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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