So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
